A Poem

“Twice a year…”

Twice a year
I mourn for you
As any mother would.
Twice a year
I think of you
And dream of all
That should.
The tiny hairs
That curl around
Your tiny ears and face
Eyes that should
Have seen the world
Another time and place.
I dream of all
The things you'd dream
And all the things
You'd play
Of little squeals
Of laughter if
I'd only let
You stay.
I dream of tiny fingers
How they'd wrap around
My hand
And all the love
I'd give to you
The perfect love
So grand
I think about
Your little eyes
If they'd be blue or brown
I wish I could
Have seen you smile
Or even cry
Or frown
I wish you had
The chance to live
The life I know
You should.
For if you had
You wouldn't be
A should or would or could.
I think about
your little legs
All the places
you would run…
The things I could've taught to you -
So full of life and fun -
Like why the clouds
can't hold you up
Or why the sky is blue
Or how to build a snowman
Or how much your mom loves you…
I'd tell you that the world is round
The sun above, the moon -
The stars, and all the universe
They all exist for you.
Twice a year
I mourn for you
This year you would
Be three
And I never will
Forgive myself
For not allowing
You to be…

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Reprinted with permission.